A little game we call ‘I Never’.

Work finds itself a little slow today. It seems when corporate activities leave me at a lull I never know where to turn. I often wonder if the best use of my time is posting. And you could probably tell by the time in which I post I am not one to fodder mid-afternoon while restlessly looking for entertainment behind this horrid PC screen. I giggle with coworkers over the daily celeb gossip and look to achieve greatness in my Access Report abilities, and realize that when Renee starts singing ‘Roll Out The Barrel’ the day’s kookiness has begun. Which leads me to think, just as Whitney has never said “Crack is Wack”, I would never ever partake in a round of ‘Islands in the Stream’ to prove I am versed in the great Kenny & Dolly. The shame of it all.

I never will admit my follies. So you will have nothing to blackmail me with. I will not publicly goof like Tara Reid, nipple slip and demand that my stupidity makes “Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist”. Stop laughing and start crying because I KNOW I’m never funny.

I never wore Crocs. Don’t laugh and don’t tell anyone either, but it’s true. I never wore Crocs! My mom said they were ok for ‘garden wear’. I figured one slip-on to dash through the garage was no crime. My feet still feel the green foam encompassing them, and emotionally beat me for the fashion shame. Oh how they sweat in that non-breathable foam-resin. How they longed to be set free! Crocs will never live in my home. Unless my mother moves in.

I never said I like Britney Spears either! So there! Once back in 1999 there was a girl who pleaded ‘Hit Me Baby, One More Time’ and baby, she was definitely hit. Now come closer kids, because the story is just getting good. Britney was a sweet innocent little tart. She traveled the world to “oversees places like Canada”, and Japan where they eat the fish (”which is very popular out there in Africa”). Yes, she grew up a good girl. She never flashed her jewels to paparazzi eyes. The good motherly love of Mama Spears must have raised Britney right. She too would grow up to be a wonderful doting mother. And just like any good mother, sweet B would never tell her children they were “mistakes”. I am sure Mama Spears feels good knowing Jamie-Lynn is following in big sissys footsteps.

I never thought this blog would end up being a celebrity bash fest and realize that as I waste time reading goof-ups of the Spears gals I have little time to blog-on, therefore this little game of ‘I Never’ comes to a pause. Perhaps soon we can pick up where we left off.